by Emperor Gum

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When they stopped going to His Church I thought that they would come to mine
Instead they’re queuing up to take my place as the anti-divine?
When I looked up at these plutocrats who ruled to help but few
A plan to outdo these pretenders within my cold heart grew

You see this country has two party, a system I quite admire
For it leaves a broken country that's a roaring dumpster fire
For neither side needs to be good or smart or right or able
For in two party one need be but the lesser evil

So I put on the uniform of crooks and legislators
A tailored suit, a coloured tie, shook hands to open doors
I joined the opposition party to trick and cheat and lie
And I felt right at home, between just you and I

Some money in the right hands and I stood for election
To the House of Commons, the home of upper high class corruption
Now I had the trial of beating the standing MP
Honestly hardly a challenge for the likes of me

You see his mother had become my guest down in the abyss
And she’s all too happy to spill his secrets for a spell of bliss
“Oh, he’s been a naughty boy, you know”, oh go on, do tell
Turns out he will be joining her in the darkest pits of Hell

I passed on his skeletons towards the gutter press
And watched the government PR fumble with that mess
A landslide win in that bielection began my rise to power
I was shadow home secretary in scarcely half an hour

With the general election looming, we needed a new leader
Somebody with a silver tongue to take over, Mr Speaker
Better the devil that you know, than the one that you do not
Me? Leader of the opposition? Thanks a lot

My strategy to win the vote was familiar and simple
Lie to all the public, a skill at which I am quite artful
And the most important thing, truly tactics perverse
Whatever the government said, I’d say the reverse

They said “more wars”, I said “less wars”, instead let’s take that money
And spend it on the NHS, they believed me, very funny
“Cut taxes for the rich”, they say? Well, I will tax them extra
The people were overjoyed for a liberal agenda

It came down to the wire on election night
The internet was all ablaze at the poor country’s plight
At last the BBC announced that the count was done
And who’d have thought? Can you believe I actually had won

God came down to Earth as I passed my first hate bill
With a choir of angels and the ghost of Benny Hill
“I hope this is a lesson to MPs red and blue
If you oppress the populace the Devil gets his due”

Now I am prime minister, Satan himself is risen
The scientists are all gagged and the journos are in prison
If I ban all Muslims, why not ban Catholics as well?
It doesn’t mean a thing to me, they all believe in Hell


released January 30, 2017




Emperor Gum Cheltenham, UK

Classically influenced alternative rock music created in direct spite of pop conventions.

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